Bin Laden Named as New CoverGirl Spokesman

A Cafe Cordover Satire

In the tradition of Christie Brinkley, Tyra Banks, Drew Barrymore, and Queen Latifah, terror mastermind Osama Bin Laden has been tapped as the new CoverGirl Spokesman.

"America is weak because it has no moral foundation. But with CoverGirl's Saladin Radiance Restorative Cream, at least it can have a foundation that reduces wrinkles and fights embarrassing blotchy skin!" pronounced the founder of al-Qaeda in a new ad campaign. "The infidels shall meet the fate of the sword, but my eyelashes shall be clump-free with CoverGirl's Ummah VolumeExacting Mascara. I am easy, I am breazy, I am beautiful. I am, inshallah, CoverGirl."

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